Thursday, 31 March 2011

I do not Think this comprises Geeky.

I will be the first to admit, I love ThinkGeek. I will also admit that I'm currently operating on an alcohol-fueled delirium, but I don't think that has a significant impact on what I'm about to say.

Right. I was talking about a website. Generally, they have an amazing selection of niche products that you may or may not find elsewhere. I own an incredible set of "Whiskey stones" - granite stones carved in the shape of ice cubes to provide the smoothness of a scotch served on the rocks, but the erotic slap of a glass served neat. It's quite incredible and really accelerates me to a slobbering mess on the floor when I mean business at a breath-taking rate. 

HOWEVER. It's not all sunshine and lollipop-farts and unicorn semen in Candyland. I received their periodic newsletter this evening, and came across THIS.
This absolutely is what you think it is.
If I had to guess, I would say that he is chewing on a deep fried racoon's head stuffed with lasagna.

If only the words describing my feelings towards this came as easily to my mouth as his dinner does to his. This isn't geeky. It utterly debases geeks. This corpulent consumer displays such blatant overindulgence that I just want to die. This is the epitome of what our culture has become.

I'm done. I quit. 

But at least he's playing a Wii to work off those calories. 


  1. I highly disagree. As someone who has some insight into these matters, it's quite evident that he is eating a broiled owl filled with a succulent blend of velveeta, liver (human), and Italian herbs.

  2. Sir. This has nothing to do with this post, but I know not how else to reach you. I've conferred with my writing partner, and if you'd like to become the third wheel in our back and forth story, I will need you to e-mail me at morleynico (at) with an e-mail address I can use to add you as an author to the blog.

    If you choose to accept this mission, you can write part 4. If you choose not to accept this mission, you are a bag of smashed testicles. So there.

  3. Also, this is most definitely not an April fool.